Traveling is for the the Birds

posted in: Frugal Travel | 0

A terrible thing happens when you travel. You see, it’s not about exotic destinations or having a souvenir hanging on your wall so you can proudly say “Oh I picked it up at this little street market outside of Rome.”

Don’t get me wrong, those are some fabulous results of traveling, but traveling isn’t limited to breathtaking destinations or swanky souvenirs. To be honest, the whole travel thing is overrated and quite problematic. I don’t recommend it.

First, there is this whole problem of planning a trip. We spend hours researching a new location and dedicating Pinterest boards to it only to show up and have our plans not go off the rails by day two. That tour at Fenway seems pretty cool, but when you take the wrong train stop and miss the last tour because New Kids on the Block are putting on a concert that night, you have to settle for a burger at Whalburgers. Travel tip: The train station stop marked “Fenway” is not the closest stop to the actual Fenway Park. Now, should you plan a trip involving nature cooperating, she most likely won’t. Winds in Iceland will derail your day in epic fashion and low oxygen levels at the top of a mountain in Montana will send you to your knees in search of enough air to manage walking. Go ahead, plan away my friend. Your best-laid plans will not work out and you’ll learn to roll with it. You’ll learn how to deal with it and months later you’ll talk about how crazy your unplanned moment was. I mean, if something is not going to go according to our own plans, why bother trying?


Now we’ve concluded our plans are about as sturdy as the paper we wrote them on, let’s talk about realizing people are different than us. This is just simply the worst thing that could possibly happen. Chose your country wisely and you’ll end up in a country who could care less about a schedule. They will tell you the event starts around 9, but what they really mean is 11:30. Time is just a minor detail is some cultures. Live and let live my friend. Yeah, sure we all know about “island time” and the laid-back approach of the Caribbean islands, but what happens when you travel within the continental United States and you realize your collective group think about life is not really as collective as you were hoping.


Yes, people in New England don’t think the way those of us in the south do and the west coast is weird. Then there’s this whole Texas thing. Just don’t go explore how the other half of the country lives, this will upset your current way of life and we don’t have time to process such information.


When you come home from your travels, this new exposure will more than likely affect you in a negative way so it’s better you stay home in your own bubble and with like minded neighbors. The whole sharing of ideas has been going on since the trade industry started and it’s about time we just put it to rest. Stop learning new things, it’s over rated.


Traveling is for the birds man. Your plans go awry all the time and you really can’t control it either. You’re made uncomfortable because you’re the minority for weeks and when you see another person who looks kinda sorta like you, you get excited. There’s no learning moments in those types of experiences. And another thing about travel that is downright horrible, most of the world doesn’t put ice in their drinks. Deal breaker right there.


Now after you’ve gotten lost, consumed some strange new meal and served a luke-warm glass of water you’ll begin to fall in love with your new location and you’ll want to go back to this land of horror. You’ll want to stand in a large crowded room with what appears to be lines for cannolis, and you’ll long for nights under mosquito nets with your bestie in the bunk below. You’ll have more run-ins with the TSA at airport security than you care to ever have and I mean, hello…. What sounds fun about airport security? Travel just teaches you too many things about the world and yourself. We don’t have time for self-improvement. This is not Oprah and that one year she had a life coach.


If you’re looking to travel, I tell you this. Just don’t. Stay at home in your sweatpants and watching your Netflix. Getting out and seeing the word is just so overrated. Why would you want to expand your view on religion or cultural norms? Besides, you’re going to spend all this time making all these plans and half of them won’t ever play out. It’s just wasted energy in my opinion. Pushing our comfort zones is never fun and we gain nothing from it so just stay at home and have as many ice cubes in your drink as you want.


Just don’t travel. It’ll wreck you

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