Standardized Candy

Here’s to you discounted Easter candy,
I bought you as a reward for my students weathering the spring storm of standardized test. You seem like such a small offering for the torture their minds go through. I’d take them all to sky zone to jump it all off, but I’m a teacher and busses are expensive. So clearance sale candy it will be! My small offering to my sanity students.

You are such a good reward for me them each day. I may even sneak just a piece while I count the seconds. I don’t know what I would do without you Recess cups and Cadbury eggs. I will justify the calories I consume with the 2 miles I pace in the room while the kids test. I really did buy you for the kids though.They work so hard. But when the silence and white walls start to get me, your chocolate and peanut butter yumminess are there for me. You’re all I have. Devoid of human interaction and conversations; your outer chocolate shell a balm to my wavering sanity.


I know peppermints “help them do well” and I enjoy a nice peppermint on occasion, but this a job for chocolate.They have totally earned you nutty snickers bar. Those kids just work so hard. When I am on my second group of kids for the day and hour number 4, there you are in your little wrapper sitting on my desk…. to be handed out to the kids of course. When I eat my lunch walking down the hall between rounds of testing and only get to eat half of it, you’re there waiting for me the kids to boost moral. When my blood sugar flat lines from mind numbing pacing, you are there with your colorful packaging, and you mini cadbury eggs are just the thing to spike the blood sugar back to normal. You really help the kids wake up and recharge on those 10-minute breaks they get too.

I know when I say the phrase “you will have 60 minutes to complete this section of the test. When you are done you may go back to check your answers in this section only. You may not look ahead in the test booklet or return to any previous test sections”  for the 50th time,you will be waiting for me the kids to finish their section.We will celebrate the kids being done and my ability to sit down in a chair.

Thanks for getting us through this testing season, you are really there in those moments of despair…. for the kids of course.


A teacher who spent 45 minutes getting sound to work on computers while kids waited to test.

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