First World Problems

posted in: In the Mayhem | 0
Once upon a time I was attempting to run a soccer camp in Malawi, Africa. It was wonderful, but chaotic at best. We were getting ready for the big scrimmages at the end of the week.We even had team t-shirts! It was players vs coaches (we won) and then the two villages against each other for the second game. People from near and far came to watch. The playing fields were nothing more than dirt and some metal rectangles for goals. But it was a field and we had a ball.
When we showed up we were not really sure how this would all go down. While I stood in the middle of the chaos I noticed two lovely villagers starting to  line a soccer field for us. We didn’t ask them to do it they just did. BY HAND. The lugged around a big sack of a powdery dust like substance and lined the field. Just because.
 This was one of my top 5 moments from the trip and one of the most humbling moments I have ever experienced. Have you ever seen the size of a soccer field? They’re big in case you were wondering. As a player/coach I often complained about lines on the field not being good enough for one reason or another. Our fields are lined with spray paint and a fancy machine on wheels and takes all of a few minutes. Once the paint fumes fade away your field is good to go for a while.
So in the spirit of this humble moment I thought I would chime in on a few 1st world problems.
1. “I can’t find a coke with my name on it!!!!!” Well played Coke, well played. You successfully achieved the american dream of making lots of money for little to no effort on your part. People are posting pictures of your product all over social media and even youtube videos have begun to surface. People buy a coke simply because it has some one else’s name on it and they want to give it to them. I am sure your sales went through the roof this summer. I was given a coke with my name on it, only to have my brother drink it. Like come on dude, it had my name on it……
2. “Can some one tell me the wifi code?”- You don’t need to be connected 24/7. really, get over this one. You don’t need wifi at the pool. The internet will still be there when you get home. After all, home is where you wifi connects automatically right?
3. Waiting on the next season to show up on netflix. We’ve all been there kids. “OH MY GOSH, JUST UPDATE ALREADY!” and then we binge. We really should pace ourselves with netflix. But there are few things better than a cold rainy day curled up watching some netflix. The recent addition of all 7 Gilmore Girls may have been their best idea yet.
4. Having a favorite pen. This may be a teacher problem but don’t act like you panic when you just can’t find it.
5. Commercials on Pandora. SO ANNOYING. just when you get your grove on, a commercial. Because we advertise every thing every where in this land of being excessive. We must momentarily pause our jam session to be brainwashed.
6. Deflated footballs. I can’t even….. I mean really America??? Why is this still in the news?!
7. Deciding which diet fad to follow for Lent. I’m talking to you private school mom who is thinking of giving up carbs. I heard you in the ice cream shop. I am pretty sure the purpose of Lent is not to lose 5 lbs via no carbs.
 So what are some first world problems you’ve faced today? Is there something we could really cut out of daily life?


Leave a Reply