Friends that turn into Strapless bras
Legend has it that the bridal party was created to distract the enemy from being able to identify the bride and groom and to keep the evil spirits away from the happy couple on their magical day. Over the years, I have served as evil spirit distractor (you’re welcome, by the way) a few times. While the excitement of being chosen as a spirit distractor is lovely, finding a dress to fit the multitude of shapes and sizes that are the female body is not. The fashion industries skewed view on what the average female shape is, pairs perfectly with this little dilemma of matching dresses. During one of my reigns as spiritual distractor, I was given a strapless dress as my chosen gown. I went off to the fancy, as seen on tv, bridal shop and had my measurements taken only to have the sales lady look at me and go “umm….. hold on”. She quickly went to go grab a binder to figure out what size dress I actually needed. The problem was this: My upper half measured for a zero (insert eye roll) and my soccer playing hips were a 4 (second eye roll goes here). They don’t make dressed to fit that form which meant I would be needing a little support up top to fill out the dress and keep it from falling victim to gravity. This meant I had to buy the dreaded strapless bra.
You know what’s the most misleading item ever made?? THE STRAPLESS BRA. It is the worst piece of female clothing support ever created. I am fairly certain it only exist to help assure us that we don’t have a super bowl half time reenactment in the event that we trip on our dress and gravity wins. This “magical” undergarment did nothing for me in my time of need. I still managed to look like I have the chest of a teenage boy next to my fellow spirit distractors who filled out their dresses correctly. I’m told for a few thousand dollars I can fix this little problem.
As women, we have two types of bras. One that says “I got you, I’m gonna make you look good today” and one that says “Eh, I’m here if you need to make a quick run to Target but lets hope we don’t run into any we know cause we’re not lookin’ so hot today”. You know the one with 3 pieces of elastic string holding on for dear life as it serves as support. Don’t act like you don’t have one in your drawer.
The power of a bra is strong my friend. Those things can work wonders if needed. They can be cute and girly or they can hold down the fort as you run around the block. Are you wondering where I’m going with metaphor yet?? The bottom line is this. You friends are like bras. Some great ones that make you look good and others that are comfortable to be around. Then there’s the strapless bra friend who absolutely useless to you.
The power of technology has given us the ability to connect with others in far away lands and it can really be a beautiful thing. I’ve experienced a support group that has given me the support I need and made me look good. But the other day I saw a post for a group that had an alarming statement and it got me thinking.
When do our support groups turn to strapless bras and not support us?
Support groups should be a safe place for people linked for one reason or another. A place to be encouraged and ideas shared. A place where you can express a need of some sort and someone else can offer a bit of help. If that question can’t be answered, a simple encouraging word will suffice. These groups should support you and make you look like the million bucks that you are.
So often these groups turn into that strapless bra you are forced to wear. You think you’ve got the support you need, but an hour into you day and 15th adjustment, you realize this was a really bad idea. These strapless support groups just end up adding fuel to a fire that needs to extinguished. Yes, we all need a safe place to let it all out, but if that’s all it is, then are you really being supported?
I knew a mom with a son who had multiple needs and she told me about a group she joined in hopes of finding support for the multitude of issues her son faced. She managed to attend a few of their gatherings in town, only to realize it was just a group of mom’s who got together and bashed the school systems and doctors. She liked her son’s school and didn’t have any issues to rant about. She was looking for other mom’s who were in her same situation for guidance and support, not ranting and bashing. So often these groups create an us against the world mentality and don’t provide us with any real support.
When we come together as women we can change the freaking world.
Isn’t the saying “if you want something said, ask a man. If you want something done ask a woman”? So let’s throw out the strapless bras and start wearing ones that make us look like the strong powerful women that we are.