Things I know about being a mom: ZERO
I don’t have kids. I’m around them all the time, but none are actually mine. I send them home at 3:30 and I don’t see them on weekends.
So when my Friday Five link up topic was about being a Mom, I cringed. I have nothing to say on this topic. I can’t talk about a mother’s worry, I just cause it in my own mother (Look, I mentioned you again). I sometimes think your “mom humor” on facebook is a more of a desperate cry for help than a funny joke. I can still jump on a trampoline without the urge to pee every 3 jumps. I hear motherhood is hard but wonderful. I know how wonderful kids are, but I don’t have my own tribe to raise.
I have no kids. I know nothing of this mom world and have no words to offer so here goes……
As I have watched my friends enter the land of momdom I’ve learned a great deal. I’ve seen every form of parenting style in the book thanks to the day job and it’s affected my opinion of what I want to be like as a mom. I realize I won’t actually know until I create a tribe, but I have a rough idea in my head.
Here’s what I’ve observed.
The best moms, are still the person God created them to be.
I understand that at times, the village you are raising is going to take up all you’ve got some days. However, one day that village of yours is going to move out and there you will stand. Just a person who was fearfully and wonderfully made by God.
Can I tell you about the moms I admire most?
They’re pretty wonderful.
Take Melissa. She’s a single mom who spends her weekends with a kid attached to her via carrier/sled/stroller as she hikes mountains in Montana. She’ll go fly fishing with a toddler in a carrier. Who does that?! She makes me feel lazy all the time because I only ran 4 miles and she logged 10 with a toddler in a stroller. She’s a freaking bad ass and inspires me to live a little better every day.
My dear friend Lauren in Austin, Tx not only created the Texas strong t-shirts, that raised over $146,000 for flood relief, she just wrote and self published a children’s book about grief. She is raising two little girls who are seeing their mom change the world from her little corner. Two little girls that have a role model in their home that’s showing them how to be courageous and wonderful. Every child should see this in their home.
A mom with a village of 5 once told me “If you’re kid doesn’t fall off of something by age one, you’re hovering“. I have told many others these wise words when they mention a tumble their little one took. This village leader of 5 is not only an awesome mom but one of the greatest soccer coaches I have ever worked with. If you ask her why she coaches when she has so many kids her answer is this. “My husband wanted our kids to see their mom doing something she loves”. Done, end of discussion.
Then there’s my recent half marathon buddy Taylor. She went to Disney World WITHOUT HER KIDS. What kind of terrible mother does that?! Awesome ones, that’s who. You know what she brought back for her kids. The hotel soap. They had mickey on them so a mickey mouse bubble bath it will be. This trip wasn’t about her kids or her husband. It was about her doing something for herself. We had oodles of fun on our trip too.
One of my favorite mom’s to take notes from is Tracy. She teaches her kids important life skills, such as how to make sangria. Her daughter once told me “You know how most kids get grounded? My mom just makes me do planks till failure”. I’m thinking this should have been Michelle Obama’s platform instead of all things kale. She’s raising her kids with a touch of humor and real world skills and I admire that.
These moms aren’t just great moms. They are great people. I know the church loves all things marriage and babies, but that isn’t all there is. Sometimes we need to look at who we are as an individual in Christ. Each of these moms are great at being a mom, but that’s not all they are. They each do their own thing and let their gifts shine. I want to be that kind of mom.
So let the other village leader put the kids to bed once a week and you go do you. Whatever it is. Maybe it’s a book club or just a neighbor to walk around the block with. Volunteer somewhere or just visit with a friend. Maybe it’s a craft class or the gym where you come to life. If you really want to go crazy send the kid’s to Grandma’s and have a whole day filled with nothing but you. Whatever it is that makes you come to life, do that! You children will gain so much more when they see you use your gifts and talents than if you tuck them in promptly at 7:30 with prayers and a good night story. I will leave you with a quote that has undoubtedly been part of your bedtime routine.
“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”- Dr. Suess